Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
