Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
