I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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