Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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