Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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