it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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