There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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