Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
