He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
