the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Randomize
