He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize