just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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