I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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