How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
