And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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