Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
What drink are we having for lunch?
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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