i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
