Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
