well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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