I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize