On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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