yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
COCAINE IS GR8
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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