Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
