You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
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