Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
