I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Randomize
