I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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