ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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