Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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