she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize