I faked an abortion last night.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
ttyl tear gas
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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