Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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