dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
