Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
