we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize