Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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