Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
