O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
