have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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