So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize