i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize