this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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