friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
my nose is crying tears of wow.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
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