when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
