Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
she woke up with a sticky ear
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
