I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
