We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
