Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
How does it feel to date your dad?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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