If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Randomize
