maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
