Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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