soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
