So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
