I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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