apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
