We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
