They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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