Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
