She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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