chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
