i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
He shit in the fireplace
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
