Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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