You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Randomize
