Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Oh god it's open bar.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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