the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
