Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Randomize
