I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
