So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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