I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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