she is the kim kardashian of front butts
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
