she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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