38 yer olds are good kisserssss
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Randomize
