I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
