I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
