id be glad to
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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