So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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