Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize